Thursday, June 9, 2011

this is how it goes...

I'm getting stressed because my oldest son and dh are going at it again. Instead of picking my face I'll try writing instead. Michael,my oldest is 15 and just got out of rehab where he was treated for drug addiction and diagnosed bi-polar like his dad. He is violent with a temper like his dad and he is learning that the way we used to live,(domestic violence)is not normal,right or healthy. He is struggling and this is another thing that if I don't learn how to give it to God and trust Him with all this, it's going to kill me. I've been reading that the best thing is to get into a support group. I want to but I also suffer from severe social phobia and stay pretty isolated which I know is not healthy. We have a great group called Celebrate Recovery at our church, I just need to make myself go which is the hard part. I also deal with depression, it feels like part of me isn't plugged in...zero drive for life. Christy,my counselor,thinks I need an entire med work up with the doctor which hopefully will help along with the spiritual and life skills I'm learning. This is good,urge to tear up my face is gone and I did some journaling. I need to work on my bible study now and may get back on tonight or wait until tomorrow,who knows what I'll stick on here!:-)

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